Fitting in has rarely been my priority. In the few moments of my life when I did try to fit in it didn’t work out anyway. Fitting in means not being creative, not thinking for yourself, and not trying anything new. If we all fit in, the world would be devoid of cronuts, cruffins, and kouign-ammans! Do you want to live in a world like that?! It also meant that I had to bite my tongue and not speak up about things I disagreed with. That was not okay with me!
My dreams have definitely been much more important than running with the pack. Had I followed the pack, I think I might be a dentist or be some sort of analyst. Oh, the horror! I can’t even envision myself in that type of scenario!
It’s not that I have a naturally rebellious spirit or a strong desire to be different/unique/special. A teacher once told me that I was “special” and I wanted to throw up. At that moment, I realized that there was so much she didn’t understand me and that our mentor-mentee relationship was doomed. In fact, there have been many days when I wished that I was just like everybody else. I could go to work, take home my paycheck, and call it a day. No worries whatsoever. Every day is the same. That sounds really nice and simple.
But no, I’m wired a little differently than some others. I’ve never really fit in and trying to wouldn’t feel right. It would probably suffocate me.
Not caring about what other people think and doing my own thing has helped me come a long way. In all of the decisions I’ve made by disregarding how others would perceive me, I have not had a single regret.
I’m thankful for the reminder from my horoscope today because it’s just the pep talk I needed. I’ve been doing too much research on fiction writing and need to stick to my guns. I have faith that my novel will work itself out even if I don’t know the plots for ANY of the characters of the stories yet. If I did know, it’s probably not a book worth writing!